supposed to be going out to play,
but this just can't wait:

i want to tell a complete stranger
everything about me.

that is all.

i will go in this way

the last time it happened, we broke each other's hearts. like arms. like carrot sticks, we bit them off and they made a sweet snap and for a moment the cold felt good, and it was nutritious. and then i got in my car, and you got on your bike, and we went in the most opposite directions, ultimately in a straight line, never parallel on accident or on purpose, but as lost as possible.

i spent hours in the coffee shop, waiting for anything to take my mind off of the red brick walls and painted bookshelves and pots and pans hanging over our heads that reminded me of you. the sights and sounds of coming home, the water pressure, the lost backyard and the unbearable empty stage beneath the roofs of our mouths-

don't take painkillers, i could have said
and don't throw up after you eat
don't forget to say hello, you could have said
and learn how to fucking love everything
and i didn't
and i still don't
but the last time i really tried
i wasn't sure if it even got through to you
i want to show you my tattoo
and let you know that
even though
i'm the same
i'm really very different

life is like having a dream, where you fall in love with the girl who grew up next to your grandparent's house. but also, your apartment is infested with crawling things that disappear down the drain and wait for your bare feet. so when you wake up, you're happy to have your feet but broken to have lost that love.